Jim Collins, author of “Good to Great” and “Built to Last,” is a master at perfecting and teaching the theory of the flywheel. A flywheel is a regulator consisting of a heavy wheel that stores kinetic energy and smooths the operation of a reciprocating engine. Once the flywheel gets going, it keeps everything else running at a nice and smooth pace.

Jim speaks of pushing the flywheel theory within your life and figuring out within one’s business what their flywheel is. Once this is accomplished, you can put the majority of your energy into getting that flywheel over the top once and then getting it over the top again, and so on and so forth. The more often we spin the flywheel, the easier it is to keep going and the easier it is to keep the engine running in the right direction. It’s instrumental to one’s business to get into that groove and be focused on that process or that energy that can keep that engine moving. 

In today’s age of uncertainty, many people, are asking more than ever “what is my flywheel? Am I spending my time determining that? Do I have multiple flywheels and if I have too many, how do I push the key ones over?”

With so much shiny stuff and distractions in the universe today, it becomes necessary to keep an awareness of what the key flywheels priorities are and one becomes ever more efficient when they can say no to the ones that don’t make sense.

What is your flywheel? Take time to identify that, what that process is, what energy needs to be put in that is can be leveraged and scaled within those flywheels.

This is not just in business, either. This is in life.

Some examples of flywheels for me are the number of presentations that I give, the number of people I put through the iMatter Workshops and the number of people with whom I share my dreams. It may be the number of steps that I take in a given day, the amount of time I spend truly reflecting and taking care of me personally, the amount of true quality time with my kids or my wife, Cheryl. Imagine the flywheel as a spinning plate, I can focus on balancing one plate, maybe I can do that with two plates, okay that's doable. Getting to three and four, okay now it's on my feet. Five and six, how can I manage all those? Not only do I have to worry about the key ones spinning, but then some of them will fall and then I lose attention to the key ones that matter most.

So, what matters most? What is your flywheel? Define that process, and say no to the ones that don't matter most to you today. 

I love the philosophy to leave things better than we found it whether it be my home, my community or my office space. Every interaction I have with people where I am welcomed into someone's life or their home or their office, to respect that time and energy and consideration means to honor that with replacing things and cleaning up after myself. That way, when people sit down and look at their space or look at the time spent with me they say “Wow, that was really worth my while and I really appreciate Bob taking the time to meet with me. Even more important than that may be the follow-up, he cleaned up after himself, not only replaced the things he used but replaced them with even more of it or even higher quality in some things.”  This helps to grow the ultimate relationship where a person can then say, “I am really, really glad that I could help.” Not that those relationships and encounters should ever be about gaining something in return every time, but then there is a level of return that each person experiences upon reflection. That inspires both parties to say, “How can I help again?”  

Leave things better than you found them.

How does one create The Ultimate Relationship?

The first step of The Rules of Engagement is to create a Safe Space. What is consistent in that Safe Space is to be aware of the verbiage we use with each other. Don’t use the words “if only,” “should,” “could,” “better” or any and all forms of exaggeration. Which means that rather than saying “I can’t work out because I’m just too tired,” you can say “I choose not to work out because I’m just too tired.” Do you see the difference? Get into the habit of it and you will take more responsibility for your actions. You have chosen this life. Accepting who you are is the first key to changing habits.

Speaking From Experience is a key aspect to creating The Ultimate Relationship… instead of saying “you did this” or “you did that,” it is “I get frustrated when I don’t get what I need out of a relationship,” or “It hurts me if someone says those things to me.” I am taking accountability and responsibility for my feelings and that takes the fire out of the conversation.

Listening To Understand is key to The Rules of Engagement. To be aware that you’re not a listener who’s simply waiting to respond whether it’s to validate or question one’s point, but you’re a listener who strives to understand. You’re a listener who asks questions to begin to understand where the other person is coming from and learn from them and then to have a conversation around that.

The second part of The Rules of Engagement is to establish boundaries. Letting each other know that it’s okay to ask for help when you need it, and to understand when you need it. It’s okay to ask for what you want and it’s okay to give permission to be reminded. That is wisdom.

The third key to The Rules of Engagement is to implement structure which means using meeting rhythms, use a process or a tool and to HAVE FUN.

By doing these three things it allows us to create The Ultimate Relationship with our spouses, with our employees and bosses, with our friends and with our clients. Then as we are practicing how to create the ultimate relationship we tend to create the ultimate relationship with ourselves and be happy with who we are, to know who we are, to enjoy life fully and the potential to further develop the ultimate relationship with the universe, God, the community and those things most important to you.

The Six Degrees of Separation from Kevin Bacon has been a fun game and an allure at parties, group events and online for many years. In The Wisdom Age (even going back to the Technology Age) the speed of the world is such that if it isn’t real time, it’s considered a bit slow and out of touch. We’ve discovered, using this amazing technology and the principles of The Wisdom Age, that the Six Degrees of Separation has now become 1.7 Degrees of Separation.

As I ask questions and ask for help and offer support to others, I have access to that many more people that much more quickly and that much more familiar with who they are in The Wisdom Age.

The human being is the one, most important aspect of the game of 1.7 Degrees of Separation… We as people are using the Technology Age to bring the human back into the world.